It’s exactly 11:46 PM tonight and here I am trying to rush another blog post. I just came home from work about an hour ago. And of course, I have to freshen up, talk to to my boyfriend over the phone and pee. It’s the end of another month and I only have 14 minutes to publish this. So, fast talk?
- #Reading – Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon, Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle, China Rich Girlfriend by Kevin Kwan
- #Watching – Sherlock on Netflix, Liar and His Lover, Chicago Typewriter, Introverted Boss, Suspicious Partner, My Secret Romance
- #Work – uhm? busy! had a month-long upgrade activities and volunteered for events as photographer etc. And pissed off! Not with work but with…
- #Travel – Boracay to celebrate our 4th anniversary
- #Body Goals – BLAH
Okay, it’s already 11:59 PM and I’m pretty sure I won’t get to post this by 12 midnight so let me just tell you about why I’m pissed off with… some people at work. Sorry but not sorry, I just have to let this out. This was actually not the first time I encountered people like them but this was the first time I got really pissed off with guys at work to the point that I want to quit! But thanks to some people around me that somehow, I learned how to JUST IGNORE.
So what really did happen? I think it started out last year. There was this someone kasi who keeps on asking me questions about almost every task. Busy ako ‘nun but I didn’t mind. Then there was this one question he asked me. It was so simple but of course, if you know me personally, I’m not that type of person to ignore and seenzone you (unless if I know you’re trying to persuade me join your ‘networking’ business ~ no offense). So I answered his question. But then, I asked “Sino nagturo niyan sa’yo?“. I asked this just so I’d know if there’s someone who really taught him because in the first place, ang simple lng ng task na ‘yun and I’m pretty sure he’s working on that specific task for months already that time. And inisip ko din na Ah baka he’s asking me because someone taught him differently and he’s starting to doubt ‘yung alam nia. And so I added, “Basta ‘pag may nakalimutan ka, check mo lang ung docu.” My only intention is to let him know a document is in place. And then he didn’t replied. He didn’t even thank me for answering his questions that day. At first I thought, Ah baka ganun lang siya. After all, hindi naman na talaga uso ngayon sa mga tao ang mag-thank you. Days passed and I noticed, he’s not asking me about anything anymore. And those people na palagi rin nagtatanong sa akin stopped asking questions. That’s when I started doubting that something was up.
After that incident, I still joined them for lunch kahit na minsan mejo toxic na ung topics nila. Madalas kasi nila pag-usapan ‘yung mga ibang tao tapos ‘pag kaharap nila, kala mo parang wala lang. There were some instances din na I know nagpaparinig sila about asking questions and hindi ako tanga, I know may pinanghuhugutan. I tried makisama but then nung hindi ko na ma-take ung ganon, I tried to fight back using quotes like “Spoonfeeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon.” BUT they’re not meant to offend them. I just want to let them change their perspective somehow. So guess what, one random day, may pinag-uusapan sila about something and I overheard “…parang ung usapan lang natin sa Daily Quotes chat natin ah.” At first, I didn’t assume that it was about me. ABA, eh naconfirm ko ngang nag-uusap usap pala talaga sila! About what? About dun sa sinabi kong icheck niya ung docu? ABA EH ang babaw naman! Bakit, may sinabi ba akong wag na silang magtanong? Bakit sobrang big deal? To think na mas harsh pa nga sila minsan pero may sinabi ba ako?
May time naman na we had a meeting and someone asked a question. Alam nio sinabi nung isa? “Hindi ka nagbabasa ng e-mail noh.” Then those guys laughed sarcastically. GRABE AS IN NAPAKABASTOS. It was not the first time they laugh without noticing that people might get hurt. They did the same to me recently. I was presenting the project successes I’ve handled and everytime I pause to look at them, ung isa titingin dun sa isa tapos ngingisi sila. I tried to ignore them at first. Alam nio naman ako, as much as possible, I’ll try to understand. Kahit nga before na ang dami dami kong naririnig sa kanila, I never said anything about it. Never ko silang binastos. Pero this time, alam nio ung feeling na nagdidiscuss ka ng something serious and then may tumatawa sa meeting? Parang sabi ko sa sarili ko nun, pinagtatawanan ba nila ung project ko? SINONG HINDI MAIINIS? NAKAKABASTOS KAYA. So after the meeting, nag-walk out ako saying “Bakit tawa ng tawa si *toot*“. Yung sa akin naman, I don’t care if may little humor sa meeting. But this time kasi, sobrang out of place nung ganun. He did say sorry via e-mail telling me that he didn’t mean it. I told him what I felt regarding the incident and ung mga hinanaing ko in the past months. But he didn’t even tap me on the shoulder to at least personally apologize. Inisip ko, ah baka nahihiya lang or baka na-iintimidate sa akin. So ako, edi okay lang. Pero guess what, ang plastik niya.
Two days after the walk-out incident, I facilitated a meeting and then I noticed inaantok ung isa kong ka-work. Pero sa akin wala lang ‘yun. So again, I just ignored. But I learned na aba, ginawa pa pala nilang topic sa pantry! Sabi daw “Nakakatulog nga ako kanina sa meeting nia eh.” something like that. Then sabi daw nung isa, “Buti ndi ka nakita.” Tapos nagtawanan daw sila including that guy who recently said sorry to me. IMAGINE, KUNG TOTOONG NAG-SORRY KA, ALAM MO NAMAN UNG NAFEFEEL KO NA SA INYO AT NAG-OPEN UP AKO NG CONCERN KO, ANO BA NAMAN UNG IKAW NA LANG MISMO UNG MAG-SEGWAY NG “UI, GRABE NAMAN KAYO” or something like that. Eh nakitawa ka pa? Sinong plastik?
Hay! Kaya lately, I preferred to be alone especially during lunch time. I’m just thankful that meron pa rin namang okay sa team ko ngayon. But at times kasi, I don’t want to pull them to this situation I have kaya I prefer to eat alone nlng. A few times, nakikisabay ako sa ibang team. And guess what, sobrang iba ung feeling nung usapan nila. Ung tipong light conversation lang hindi katulad ng vibes ‘pag ung mga mokong na un ang kasama ko.
Right now, I chose to ignore. Sabi nga ng boss ko, “Don’t let them be a hindrance to the successful person I can see you can become.” Yes, I did told him my concern not to make sumbong but to open up kasi nakakaapekto na siya sa work ko and I needed a professional advice. Everyday kasi, tinatamad na ako mag-work kasi alam nio ‘yun, hindi na ako motivated.
But I’ve realized nga, sino ba sila? They’re not even the ones paying me. And sabi nga ni boyfie, kahit saan naman na company meron at meron ka talagang mameemeet na ganyan. So for now, I’ll try my best to focus on my goals. Resigning anytime soon? NOPE. I just realized, hindi ako magpapatalo sa kanila.
P.S. Sorry for the very long rant. I just needed an outlet. And please don’t take this against my company. Everything in C is good except for them. Hahaha. So if those guys happen to read this, I don’t really care. Sana matauhan sila at some point kasi character nila yan eh, sila din ang magdadala nian pag-tagal. For my readers who happen to read about this, secret lang natin ah? Wag nio na i-share. Thank you. And sorry about the featured image. I didn’t have the time to edit pics. Pero mej sakto naman sya sa feels ko today, lutang lang haha.
Time-check: 1:28 AM. In fairness, I feel light na after writing about it. Sometimes, we just really need to let it out. I tried telling some people about what I feel but iba pa rin pala talaga ‘pag sarili mo na ‘yung kausap mo. And guys, wag nio silang gayahin please! Please be sensitive enough to all the people around you.
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. – Winston Churchill
Until the next volume.